“When am I gonna stop being wise beyond my years and just start being wise?”
“When am I gonna stop being a pretty young thing to guys?”
“When am I gonna stop being great for my age and just start being good?”
“When will it stop being cool to be quietly misunderstood?”
“But I fear that they already got all the best parts of me?”
I finished listening to the last song lyric and ejected the keys from the ignition. It was 10 p.m. I looked down at my phone and got a notification reminding me I had morning practice for archery at 6 a.m. Then three more popped up on my phone: study for my math test, finish Anatomy notes and start annotating “The Awakening” for English.
I didn’t know how I was gonna get it all done. I sat and thought for a second. Olivia Rodrigo’s “Teenage Dream” was suddenly becoming one of my favorite songs, and now I know why.
According to The Nation, a program of the Nation Fund for Independent Journalism, the teenage dream “is an expectation of robust social life and plenty of freedom during our teenage years.”
Now, that couldn’t be further from the truth.
There are many obstacles teenagers are facing trying to balance their social, academic, mental and physical lives. First, and foremost, comes the academic pressure for success. The golden years, as they say.
Ashley Gilchrist ‘27 says, “With a lot of homework and my rigorous swim and dive schedule I feel like I barely have time to do it all.” Gilchrist is in two APs and all honors classes this year. Alongside this, her swim and dive schedule is five days a week lasting for two or three hours.
The report, “Unpacking Grind Culture in American Teens: Pressure, Burnout, and the Role of Social Media,” by the Harvard Graduate School of Education says, “Achievement, the pressure to achieve the most; to be impressive; to be the best in all aspects of life, makes up roughly 53% of how teens are feeling today.”
“Now I’m at a stage in my life where although my academic courses are rigorous, my best friends keep grounded. I’ve learned the idea of a teenage dream is one where you have good people around you,” Gilchrist says.
Secondly, comes the pressure of social media: What’s altered and what isn’t.
Sophia Fireman ‘26, who maintains a rigorous academic schedule as well as being involved with National Honor Society, Key Club and co-founder of “Voters of Tomorrow,” says, “The teenage dream is the idea of having a big friend group, going out to parties every weekend and having a good romantic life. It’s really the influence of social media. It makes everyone look and act a certain way.”
According to “Unpacking Grind . . .,” “More than three-quarters of teens who report Appearance Pressure say that social media at least sometimes increases (worsens) this pressure (79%, of which 48% say social media only increases Appearance Pressure, and 31% say the influence is mixed).” Appearance Pressure is the pressure to look and act a certain way on social media because of body-figure idealization.
Fireman says, “I know most of it (social media) is a fallacy, but I still find it hard to believe. I see all these girls my age who look perfect, going out to parties, and I’m just here.”
Which leads to my third point: Are we really seeking our teenage dream or is it handed to us on a silver platter?
Kathleen McCloud-Ryan, Xavier’s behavioral health therapist, says, “I feel that the teenage dream is being dictated for teens. No one is making it on their own and it’s being fed to this generation.”
Fireman says, “The teenage dream is sold to us in novels, music, TV shows and movies. Now, there’s social media and it’s telling us what the teenage dream is supposed to be for our generation.”
At the end of the day, I really do ask myself: What is my teenage dream? Are these really the golden years?
Here’s the truth: There are so many perspectives in the feeling of what it means and what it is. As much as the movies portray it as going out to parties most weekends, having a significant other, and being part of a popular clique, it’s not true. Being burned out and feeling out of place are parts of growing up, a part of the teenage dream.
Freshman year I didn’t know what I wanted to be or what I wanted to do, but I sought and found comfort in my friends. Sophomore year, like Ashley, I was happier with my social life. I had people who kept me grounded and still do. Junior year, I was starting to care less about how other people thought I was fulfilling my teenage dream and I started hanging out with people who gave me a place of refuge.
Now, as a senior I’ve seen the course of my teenage dream play out. Bumps along the way with bruises that have wounded me but also made me stronger. Although I have two more years before my teenage dream is really over, the high school years, as the movies don’t portray, are the most fundamental and now I know why.
As the eldest of four, it’s always been expected that I set the path for the rest of my sisters. I fear that the teachers, alongside my parents and social media, have gotten all the best parts of me. I’ve been known to give a lot to others.
So, in a few short words, I’m sorry I couldn’t always be your teenage dream but this dream is essentially mine. With all of its pressures and rewards, it’s a dream that goes on and one I grow from.
