As you all may or may not know, Executive Board elections were held a few weeks ago and I myself ran. Preposterous, you must be thinking. But yes, loyal readers, it’s true. In fact, I’ve fun for Student Council a total of four times throughout my time at Xavier. How many times have I won? Well, that’s a story for another blog. But for those out there who have never experienced the running, this is for you. (And trust me, it has never gotten easier).

Step One: The information meeting. This is where all the girls who even have the tiniest inkling of running cram into a room and frantically ask each other what they are is running for: My advice for this meeting is to lie low. Literally. Sit on the ground Ignore the panic and the chaos and focus on the deadlines the moderators give you. If anyone asks what you’re running for, hit them with the ol “I’m not sure yet.” But you definitely know what you’re running for. In fact, you already have an awesome speech prepared. But still, lie low. So low you don’t reveal your running position until you Have to when you turn in your petitions and recommendations.

Step Two: Rehearsal. Practice you speech very night, especially in the shower, until you have if memorized. This will impress the moderators when you read it to them. And don’t be nervous if they don’t laugh, the odds are yours is the 40th speech they’ve heard that day.

Step Three: The day before Election Day. It’s important. You have to have funny (but not over the top) posters and a loud, but not obnoxious, campaign manager. This is the day you make sure the world knows you’re running. Practice the heck out of your speech and try to get some sleep (highly unlikely).

Step Four: Election Day. Finally, time to give the speech. It’s different for everyone, but I still get nervous saying it. The real magic is hiding your seemingly obvious unease from all your classmates while simultaneously making them laugh.

Eye Contact: You don’t actually have to stare into someone’s soul, but look up from your paper every once and a while to show your competence.

Delivery: Your speech is riding on this delivery. A funny speech can be made boring by a monotone delivery, and a mediocre speech can be made hysterical by amazing delivery. Finally, don’t rush. Make sure to enunciate and pause for your punchlines. Just think, a minute and it’s over! Which in reality, it’s not. You then have the extreme torture of sitting through all your classes, listening to your peers give their predictions and judge the speeches.

NOTHING is more painful than seventh period, however. You arrive to your seventh period class simultaneously excited to hear the announcement and wishing you had more time to prepare. You eye all your classmates nervously, knowing they’ll either see you fly or fail. But the seconds slowly tick by into minutes and then the announcement is starting. I recommend holding a friend’s hand. Good luck.